I know.. I know I’ll be missing out on great love. On a wonerful down to earth man who’s spiritually stable. Who will make me feel like queen. An angel even.. Scratch that. Who HAS made me feel like a QUEEN &AN ANGEL. I can’t argue with any of that. Its just.. people change.. Love changes. & Sometimes we feel as though we cant control it so we sit back and let it happen.. because we’ve tried soo many times to where “loving” actually turned into “surviving”.. hanging in there.by a thread…. instead of growing were always finding ourselves start back at square one. We speak about the future but nothing we do in the moment, actually takes us there. Its not just our actions, its deeper than that. Our emotions are either numb or no longer there.. We fell apart. Where do we go from here..

So we got off the phone earlier and it was pretty interesting.. We didn’t have ,much to say and when we would talk it still meant nothing. Its funny though, when we got ready to hang up and he said bye before me.. I thought for a quick sec and still said bye right back. No “I love yous” no “waaiiitt just stay on for a little longer” likehow it use to be. That didn’t bother me. & that right there is what caught me by surprise… If it hurted me.. That would mean my feeling were still there.. but it didn’t hurt. In fact I was no different as hanging up with my girls.

yet it didnt fill the void. So by the end of the day. I come home from work.. Thinking about you. I hate it.